Wednesday, 16 November 2011

My sister was my dog, for a second time

It is the second time I substitute my sister with my dog in a dream. To be perfectly honest it is the third time these two change places in my mind, because I have also dreamt of my dog talking in my sister's voice, but this substitution was the other way around.

I saw I had gone to take a nap and when I woke up my sister had chewed some of my things and left them as a messy pile in front of my mother's old couch. I could not figure out exactly what it was that she had destroyed. She did the same thing again when I left her alone for a little. When I came back I asked her why she was doing this to me and if she did not know I would always be returning. She run off into the bathroom to hide and would not speak to me, only give me a hurt stare. She looked much younger than she is.

Then I saw that I was with P. and we were climbing up to a terrace at his parent's house. We went up too quickly for me to understand the process, but when we got to the top of the balustrade I realized that we had used a hanging rope. There was a level with stairs, yet in order to get there I would have to hang from, and move slowly on, the previously mentioned rope. It was not even properly stretched and the distance to the stairwell was 3 or 4 metres, while the distance from the ground must have been at least 5 metres. I knew I could not do this. I have a fear of heights that makes my palms sweat instantly when I glide a bit higher than the ground. I panicked and started to cry. P.said he would find something to make me feel safer and left. He returned with a small mattress and a second piece of rope. I still could not do it and I was starting to get angry and searching in my mind for somebody to blame. I have been trapped high in other dreams as well, mostly on staircases, and usually I choose to jump. I can't remember having been trapped before so badly, though. The thought of jumping crossed my mind but the distance looked so big that I was not sure at all that I would not miss the mattress and crash on the floor or even that the mattress would absorb the shock. I did not do anything because I woke up.

Friday, 11 November 2011


It's been a while. It is not that I haven't been dreaming, I just did not feel like writing in the morning.

For example, a few days ago I saw I had caught a strange disease but they had saved me by putting my brain in a new body that was an exact replica of mine. The transplant was 100 % successful and I was happier than ever. I had my previous body in a very small coffin next to my bed. I was impressed by how small it was. We would bury it the next day. I kept thinking that I am a rather small person. Over all, it was a happy dream.

A funny thing about dreams is that if you don't put them down on paper, or tell them to someone right away they just fade within minutes. For example, when I woke up I knew I had seen at least two lengthy dreams. I've been awake for just an hour and now I know I will only be able to recall bits and pieces.

I think I dreamt that I had moved with my mother, sister and P. back to my hometown. We had also kept an apartment at the capital, just in case we needed to spent a night there. I had to be there to meet the sister of my sister's godmother, whom I haven't seen for years. I think she studied advanced mathematics and got married to a very tall man (she is a rather small woman, too). In my dream she was a lawyer, like her sister. We met and she invited me for a drink with her colleagues. We went to a nice area with lots of crowded small bars. We got inside and squeezed through the crowd. Apparently somebody was dissatisfied with the first table we chose because we moved to another spot in the same place by some stairs. I can't remember if we went upwards or downwards but the access was not easy. We had to join two tables because we were a lot of people. A big waitress came to take our order. I wanted a glass of white wine but I never got the chance to ask for it because the waitress ignored me. The girl's husband came over and I thought he was not as tall as I had heard he was. He was taller than her and me but still, he was just average for a man of his age. The time passed and I got bored, so I decided to leave. Everyone would leave. I thought it was too late to catch the bus back home and I said I was in a pickle because I had nowhere to stay. She responded I could crash on her couch. I was glad she did so because I had not really had the chance to talk to her in private until then. Then I thought I might be a burden and remembered that I also had an apartment in the city. I searched in my backpack and luckily I found the keys. They would all leave together but my apartment was in the other direction, or so I thought.
I said good-bye and started walking. I thought I was quite close but I had the wrong impression. After walking for a little on a wide street with yellow lights and no other visible pedestrians I started feeling I was in trouble. I thought of taking a taxi but there was scarcely any traffic and no taxis at all. This and the fact that I saw movement behind trees and buses made me think I might have been lost in a dodgy part of the town. I asked a woman I spotted getting into a dimly lit building if it was too far to get on foot where I was going. She said it was not so far, but it was not close either and further more I would have to walk towards the other direction and pass through some rather dangerous districts. I noticed that I was standing in front of a peculiar bed and breakfast facility. It seamed other-timish and it reminded me of unknown W.M.C.A. interiors. I saw that the woman was making crochet flowers from thick yarn. I had been making the same thing a few days ago. Further more, some of the yarn she was using was the same as mine. I was impressed and convinced I had to spent the night there just for the experience. I said I had no money and she informed me it was like a homeless asylum. I felt that I could not spent a night in a place where I belonged less but this made it so attractive. It was similar to the excitement I got as a child when I got a glimpse into strangers' houses when we went to sing the Christmas carols. It was another world I had to explore with all my senses. I accepted the bed she offered me. Perhaps we could chat about crochet and maybe some day I would visit her again to show her mine.
All the beds where in the same room. They were all single wooden beds with thick woolen blankets in various faded colours that reminded me of aubergines. I also remember a large, double wooden door that led to another small room. I got into bed and this is as far as I can recount form my first dream.

I had another one, later on. I can't remember how it all started but I was with P. Something had happened to my waist and despite the fact that my whole body was fully functional I was on a wheel-chair. We were going to a public health institution. We passed by the railroad tracks and kept walking on the narrow pavement of a wide street with large public buildings on either side. I could not really see them, just the tall grey fence. There were children, young thugs, that were returning home from school walking towards the opposite direction on the pavement. Not only did they not make way for me to pass with my wheel-chair but they also stared at me in a provocative way. At that point I figured out I could do a lot of cool stuff, like go round a tree on two wheels etc. I moved forth and got behind the kids and I looked back to find P. He was nowhere to be seen. I called out his name and started moving towards the other direction but there was no sign of him. I went to the public health institute on my own. I had to climb up a scaffolding to get to the appropriate office. By that time I was worried but not crazy-worried about P. because it was no longer him. It was Popeye I had lost. Soon Olive came where I was and I told her what had happened. I asked her how come she was not so worried either. I can't remember her answer.
I got into an office that was grey and cold. I had a simple desk and some metallic storage cabinets. Then I was sent to another office and from there back to the first one. The second time I got in there I saw a mash of fat old fellow-students of mine, dressed in featherless chicken suits rubbing on each other on the floor. And then the dream got embarrassing. I asked for a penis because I wanted to f.. them all. I was given a device I would attach to my genitals and it would vibrate while it looked like a plastic pointy chicken leg on the other side. I pushed a girl down and placed this object inside an orifice of her costume. She objected for a moment but started co-operating soon. I did not do this for long because despite the vibration I could not enjoy the process. I got up and started having casual chat about the oddness of the machine with the office clerk. The rest were still cuddling and rolling on each-other on the floor. They looked funny because even though they were all obese their heads looked small in comparison to the masses of the uniforms they were in. Luckily I woke up soon after that.