Thursday, 28 April 2011

P. was pregnant.

I think it is really odd how I can remember so many details from my dreams during the first minutes when I wake up but they disappear from my mind within the time it takes me to make something to drink and sit in front of the computer.

Last night I saw that P. was pregnant. His tummy had become round. We had not questioned this strange occurrence. We went to a pharmacy and they gave me a strange instrument for my wisdom teeth. It looked like a small tool used by tailors to remove threads, one that looks like a small fork, with one "tooth" sorter that the other. On the top of its edges it had two small colourful orbs. I think they were red. I placed it in my mouth as indicated. I could not really talk with it in there and decided to remove it. The bloody thing was stuck. I pulled forcefully but it felt as if I was pulling my teeth along! I managed to take it out and observed that the orbs had disappeared. I thought it must have magnetized the core of my teeth. The pharmacist's assistant said that these instruments were obsolete because they did not do much good and on the contrary, they could damage teeth. We started talking about P.'s pregnancy. I was wondering how and when he had obtained a uterus. He said he hadn't, that he had become pregnant just like that. The assistant agreed with me that there could be no pregnancy without a uterus and suggested that he went to get an ultra-sound so as to see exactly what was happening in his abdomen. In the mean time the assistant was opening boxes that contained the previous instrument in various sizes. He took out a particularly long one and he said that it was a means of contraception and if I would like to test it. I declined the offer and stayed there sitting on a white chair. A group of girls came through the door. One of them was not feeling so well. We started talking and found out that we had all been working for S.- my last employer in Th.- and that we all had a leather bag, made from scrap pieces taken from this shop. They all looked different as each of us had made it in our own style. I remember a big dark blue bag and a red and yellow one. They all looked good.

Later I saw I was walking on the street and dark was falling slowly. I was walking by a wide road and there were bushes and something like a small park on my left hand side. I think I was heading towards my sister's. I passed outside a large building and went in. There was a large central open yard. It was very crowded. There were dozens of hipsters sitting all around. I decide to linger and find out what this place was. I am not particularly fond of neo-hippies but it did not feel that exclusive. I started talking to people and they informed me that they were living all together there. It was a squat. They did communal dinners and spend time together. It did not seam so bad, at least not as bad as it sounds. I decided to spend some time there. I started talking to a writer. He said he wrote theatre plays. He asked if I would like to see one of them on stage. I said I would. I promised to go back and I left. I was walking towards my sisters again when I saw a big crowd gathered opposite me. It looked like a chauvinistic demonstration and I wanted to avoid it. I think I went back to the previously mentioned building but I could not find any of the people I had been talking to. I was waiting for them.

That is as much as I can remember.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

factory of oddities

I saw I was working in an office and I resigned. I found myself invited for an interview in one of the most bizarre places I have ever dreamed of. All the scenery reminded me of the charming, dreary old London. I got into a big room with a desk behind which a woman was sitting. I was feeling nervous because there were more people sitting on a couch opposite her. She had some dossiers in front of her but no c vs were visible. She asked me what I had studied and I explained, mentioning that my current practice involves more painting that sculpture. She looked discontent and said she did not know if I would be a good enough painter, not having studied this subject in a school. I got irritated and started explaining that my studies were not exclusive in sculpture and that I have also studied history of art and been in various workshops, until I got angry and questioned her ability to judge. The people on the couch gave me approving looks. Then the appearance of the space was completely different. I was in a bigger space, siting on a couch. The women I used to work with in my previous job were sitting beside me. There was a young man at the desk. While he was asking questions I felt more and more sleepy. I could hardly keep my eyes open. I think I must have dozed off because I opened my eyes and I saw that I was sitting next to a middle-aged man, with white hair, going bald, and reading glasses. He was supposed to be my previous employer. I asked if I had fainted and he responded positively. I said I must be anemic but I knew it was something else. I thought I might have been dragged. It was a very odd place anyway. I did not know what kind of job I had applied for but the walls were painted in vibrant colours and there were bubble gum and lollipop stickers everywhere. All employs were dressed in beautiful dark blue coats that were similar to the one I am usually wearing but they also looked like doctor's coats. I got up to see the interviewer because I was sitting on the far end of the couch and there was a pillar in front of me. I could hear people saying "well done, Gr., you will be the one to take the job." Indeed he asked me to return the next day at ten o'clock in the morning. As I was leaving I remembered that I could not do that because I had my final exams on this date and time. I tried to find somebody to ask to start working the day after. I spoke to a woman, to whom I explained that I had finished with all my studies but that I had to go through these exams so as to validate my degree in my native country, as well. She gave me a look of discontempt. I said I could be there by noon. She thought about ti for a little while and gave me the permission unwillingly. I left.
I had to return in the afternoon because there would be a get-together party for the employs. As I was approaching the place I met my sister. I wanted to go buy some noodles and she was also going to the super market. I suggested that we went there together, later and that she joined me for a pint in the pub under my new working place. She was reluctant at first but agreed in the end. We went inside and sat on a small table The place was not particularly crowded. A couple of people I was supposed to have met earlier approached us and asked if I had finally got the job. We left to go get our noodles. It was a nice neighborhood with big houses with loan and hedges on the front. Luxurious old black cars were passing in the road. One took a sudden turn and I pulled my sister towards the pavement. As we were walking we met some Korean girls we knew, that were also attending the party later. We all went back together. One of them was wearing a blouse with a very open v-shaped neck that went all the way down to her tummy and a striped black and gold tie as a brazier. I made a comment on this.
My alarm clock went off at 8 o'clock. I saw all the previously mentioned between that time and 8:05 when it went of again.
I turned the snooze function off and went back to sleep. I saw I had left the previous place and I was walking down a more Mediterranean looking street. I met a girl that despised me in high-school. She bragged about her fathers new restaurant and since we were standing just outside she invited me in. It was a massive building, as big as three three-room apartments in a row. Apparently he had bought a few shops, joined them and made this monstrosity. I absolutely hated it. It looked so fake, ordinary, cheap and out of sync with the rest of the area. I could see bits and pieces of the older buildings and was wondering what twat of an engineer had designed this stupidity. It was shinny brown with lots of wooden massif doors.
This is as much as I can remember so far. After a while I was waking up, describing my dream to my self and sleeping lightly again, until I decided it was time to face reality and get out of bed. Crap.

Monday, 25 April 2011


I'm in P.'s back yard. Actually, I'm in his recently deceased grandfather's back yard, collecting sun. It's supposed to be therapeutic for my condition. Apart from the fact that I can't see the screen clearly, it feels good.

I dreamt I was in a nightclub. It was full of show people and performers. Everybody were slim, tall and glamorous. I could see people dancing and enjoying their drinks, with sunglasses on. I pushed my way out and got in a taxi. It was dark. There were other passengers as well. We drove towards P.'s neighborhood in his hometown. I asked the driver to let me off a couple of blocks away.

Next, I found myself in an apartment. There were some people among whom was K. We had a small dispute between joke and reality and I turned towards him and told him that he did not really love me neither of the times. He gave me an odd look and I felt that I had done something wrong. I walked off by a porch.

Saturday, 23 April 2011

a picture of a rainbow

I dreamt I was learning a therapeutic/promotional process that involved forming an image. I was working with an instructor that was asking me questions and according to my response he altered the picture. It was meant to show me the process of achieving my goal by posing questions that guided my answers. The picture that was supposed to be formed was a particularly happy one with a naive rainbow and the sort.
I also dreamt that I went to a bank and I was very stoned. I felt awkward because it was very tight security-wise. I had to fill-in forms with my personal information and I was afraid I would do something wrong and be accused. It was also rather hard to keep up with the clerk that was helping me as he was constantly changing desk and was leaving my papers in the previous one, so I had to go and interrupt other customers to get them back.
I woke up thinking of the song "magnificent seven" by the Clash.

Yesterday I dreamt again I was pregnant but the dream was an adventure style one. I told P. about it when I woke up but I can't remember anything now.

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

three in a row

I have had terrible difficulty in convincing myself to get out of bed during the last weeks. In addition to this I can't remember my dreams and when I do I am too bored to write them down. But today's was a keeper. I have forgotten half of it because I half-woke up and then I was dreaming I was writing about it and it got further complicated.

It all started in a cottage in an isolated small village I had gone to visit with P. We were staying in a house, that resembled my mother's, that somebody we did not know so well had lent us. We had a big bag of green with us and were about to get down to business when we heard sounds from the back yard. I went out to check and I saw some people at the door about to get in. I told P. about it and approached them to ask what it was they wanted. I thought they might be policemen. P. came out with a plastic bag he through casually at the plants. I knew what the content was and fell insecure. We chatted a bit further and then they probably left. I remember chatting with another man that had also moved recently to this village. I was not particularly fond of him as he was one of these people that brag about everything and preach hippism. He was saying he had constantly visitors comming to his house from his previous life and what a great time they have all together in the dump he called home. I think that something strange happened then and we found ourselves in a pub, sitting on a bench with other people. I remember wooden walls and going through a door and something very odd and metaphysical taking place that was related with the excavation of various objects from boxes stored in a hole in the ground. My father showed up and managed to fix everything right with an incantation.

Subsequently, I remember being in a beach. The landscape was rather peculiar. There was soft sand and the water was shallow for miles. There were small sandy reefs very close to the beach that was formed by small pools. I was walking around trying to find a spot where I would have enough space. It was not really crowded but it seamed as if every swimmer had a private pool only for themselves. I checked a place that was not occupied but there were urchins in there. I kept walking around.

Then I saw fabrics. They were coming out of holes and forming dogs. I had to collect them but it was a difficult and complicated task.

Also, some days ago I dreamt I was four months pregnant. My tummy had become quit large. I wanted to keep the baby but I did not know if this was possible due to my condition. I wanted to talk about it with my doctor but instead I saw I was sitting with my old professor of sculpture, asking his opinion and describing the situation to him.

Another day I saw that there were large boxes in the corners of the room, in which were super heros. I could see them re-assemble from spare parts.

Saturday, 16 April 2011

In. built a platform

The day before yesterday I saw I had put on a very nice coat. It was too big for me and it looked funny. It was made of various fabrics, in dark colours, black, brown, maroon and purple tartan. The shoulders were very broad and it gave a pointy overall impression. I especially liked the pockets and its hind side. On the back it was wavy circular and the pockets were thick. I can't remember anything else but that I put it on and started laughing.
Yesterday I saw I was with I., our dog. Something happened and she gained some strange, extra-terrestrial capabilities when ever there was lightning. She started building a platform. At first it was very small. We sat there on our own on pillows and fabrics. There was a lightning and she made it bigger. She wanted to wee and I sprayed some water for her wee to be washed off. The water started flowing towards our pillows and fabrics and I had to re-arrange them. Later we went to a party with P. It was in A.'s house. His new girlfriend was there. She had shoulder-length black hair and she was tall. Her brother was there as well and he, also , had long black hair and was tall. We were in a half-furnished, low-lit living room. The couple were on a divan attached to the wall on my left hand side. The door was on their left. P. and I were sitting on a couch. Next to us was a door that led into the next room and opposite us was another couch on which were sitting the girls brother and some other people. They reminded me terribly of my friend Th. I asked if they had a brother named Th. They said they heard that often but did not really respond to my question. P. got up and left and A. came near me. He did not sit on the couch but sat with his knees bent in front of me. He asked how I was doing and if everything was all right. We chatted for a couple of moments and he went back to his girl. It was getting very late (it would be dawn soon) and we decided to leave. We got out. The street was very crowded; cars were passing by while shit-faced adolescents were trying to cross the street. There were also policemen around and a general roar of dispute. We sneaked behind their backs because we were terribly intoxicated and we wanted to drive home. I felt my eyes itching to they point they they felt shrunk. We escorted a girl that was with us to her house. She leaved in a near-by building. We were impressed by how central her house was but it was on the ground flour and she seemed not to particularly like it. We left her there and walked home. It was much closer than I thought. It was just behind the railroad trucks. P. had taken the car there earlier. It was blue and it looked retro, like a 1940's car. We were about to go snog a little but then we were again on the previously mentioned platform. It was several floors high now. We were standing on the top of it but the woods that were forming it had started to disintegrate and we had to be very cautious on our step. Suddenly a whole opened and a woman (I can't remember if it was me) in a fin de ciecle dress fell through. She was caught and did not fall. P. woke me up.

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

I. could speak

A few days ago I dreamt that I had to sacrifice my dog. In the same dream I saw that I was looking at my self in the mirror when I noticed that my hair had grown so much longer and that I had accidentally dyed more than my fringe. All the hair under the fringe were in a strange vibrant orange colour. I lifted them up and made a huge double bun on the top of my head. I was looking for my sister to show her that I could have been a member of the Adam's family. Then I saw that my dog had been possessed and I was told by some people that were there that I should e the one to kill her. I had to lure her near and then go through a sanctification process. I had chocolate on my fingers and I led her closer by letting her lick it off. Then they told me to pass my hand under her tummy and lift her up. I did all these. Subsequently we put her in a box. She was looking at me calmly while blue sparks left her body. I was feeling very depressed and guilty. This creature had been so loyal and despite the fact she would turn evil she had trusted me completely and I had led it to its death. Fortunately it was nothing but a bad dream.

Yesterday I also dreamt of Inuki. She was starting to speak. She would mime sounds like a Myna bird, but they made sense. She would say some words in the same manner she understands instructions. I was very proud and we were talking about it with P.

Wednesday, 6 April 2011


On Friday morning I dreamt I was with K. I was washing his hair. He had a strange haircut. Most of his hair were shaved, as if he wanted to seem to be going bold, yet there was a line of hair left above his forehead that looked like a big mustache. I remember scrubbing this area with soap as well as his sideburns and beard. I remember that a lot of things happened in that dream but I went to work and I forgot most of it.

Last night, or more likely this morning, I saw I was with P.and then I met another boy. It was my friend Th. I haven't seen for almost two years and with whom I was in love in 2000-2002. Nothing ever happened between us apart from playing. I was thinking I was in trouble because I liked them both so much. I felt better with P. but I also thought that since I wanted Th. for so long I shouldn't miss the opportunity to see what it would be like. I did not know how to tell then both how the situation was. Obviously I was not going to lie or hide. In the scene that followed thing got even more complicated because T. changed into D., who is -or was- the boyfriend of another close friend of mine. This image was very upsetting and I tried to bring back Th. in the dream. Then I saw I was in a supermarket with all these people but I didn't know who was my partner. I found myself naked and alone in a corridor filled with people doing their daily shopping. I put my clothes back on and I went downstairs to find my friends. A broad-shouldered but short guy showed us his beer. He was drinking a Heiningen. I understood what it was from the little castle on the label. We asked him to get two more for us. I woke up.

I have been very nervous lately and I didn't want to get out of bed and face reality so I went back to sleep. I woke up an hour later so I didn't go to my morning job. I'll take the dog out for a walk, cook and draw.