Friday, 31 December 2010

soaring, bruised and cut hands

I dreamt that both my hands were hurt. I can't remember how I got the first injury on my left hand, that was full of small bleeding scars and bruises, I do remember though how I hurt the right one; I was in a public house when somebody collapsed on a table full of glasses, shattering them and causing a rain of fragments of crystal. I had a deep cup between my thumb and my index finger that would probably need stitches. I kept it closed and immobile and waited patiently for help. A fat woman that resembled "Harry Potter's aunt Petunia" and due to this similarity I expected no good from her, was very kind and brought me a cup of tea. A group of doctors appeared on the spot and took care, very quickly and painlessly, of my left hand and arm. When I looked at it, it was full of small scars, pink but closed. They left the other hand for later. I could see small pieces of glass sticking out of small dried wounds, that made it very painful to pull them off. While I was waiting I was talking to people but no one would help me remove the bloodied chips of my hand. I kept both hands immobile. I was afraid to touch them.

Later I was in a classroom in the office of my land-lady. She had a huge space available for me to work and the job I would be doing was teaching art to toddlers. My hands were still hurt and fixed in a safe position. I had the children sitting in a round table and started talking to them in a very gentle and slow manner so as to get to know each-other. The land-lady's desk was on a higher level in the room and I was standing on the stairs that linked the two floors. As I was speaking I went lower and nearer to the table and when I walked around it I saw that there were some significantly older boys in my audience. Non of them had a cheerful face. On the contrary, they all had an expression of teenage aggression. I did not approve of them being there among my other young students. I went to the land-lady to ask what was going on. She said that they were students of the neighboring school and that it was their break-time. I still did not trust their faces to be near so young kiddies. Soon my worries proved to be plausible as they started being rude and attacked me verbally. There was an uproar but I can't remember anything in particular.

In my third dream of the night I was with P. My hands still felt stiff. I was afraid to touch them but I did and saw that there was nothing wrong. I had just arrived at my studio space in the school of fine arts. I had a wide white desk in a corner. Everything was white, despite the dust. I also had a bicycle, white apparently. I had just sat down and was thinking of my new work when I heard that some kind of professor was there. She was a woman and I did not feel like discussing anything with her. I got up and went into the next room where we kept supplies. There were large sheets of iron screens. I thought it was a brilliant material to do millions of constructions and forms with. I found some smaller pieces and started experimenting with them when P. came looking for me. He told me he had purchased something from a weird girl that worked in a near-by bakery. We took my white bicycle and drove there. We were looking for sweet and sour snacks when the large baker-lady came out to bring more stuff. She was very plump and friendly. Before long I saw the girl with whom P. had had his weird transaction. She was a big girl indeed, with a round cheeky face and blond locks hanging on each of her shoulders. She had a beautiful, warm smile. She was a big Sapphic and she had her eyes fixed on me. I smiled back. The backer-lady brought a tray of snacks and she nailed it on two up-standing loafs of bread. I was amazed by their flexibility. I seemed to have lost part of the discussion because she gave me a very nice, vintage, original flexible bowl by Tupperware! It was occasionally yellow or blue and it could transform from a storage bowl to a salad bowl! I was transfixed. She had two identical ones but she said she would only give us the one. We took our food and our tupper and got on our bicycle and took off towards the sky.
When I woke up I wondered if my hands were still hurt. They were numb but I could move easily every finger. I found no cuts or bruises.

Thursday, 30 December 2010

Magic cushions. A big black empty building

I saw three magical objects, they were three basic principles or states or concepts of magic. They had originally been person that had taken the form of black velvet hats that looked like cushions with a light pink fury stripe. They flowed in space, next to a big arched gate and granted permissions. They would communicate with each-other and at some point one of them had to have a corner trimmed.
In another dream I saw that I had got trapped in a big black empty building. It was as if its purpose was to trap people inside and make it difficult for them to escape. All the walls were black and very dimly lit. I had to go up and down stairs and pass crawling through passages and short, narrow doors. I think I was in contact with somebody outside. When I managed to get out I found the person to whom I was talking to when I was in the building and he had a grey car. He suggested that I should drive. We were in a sparsely populated district, possibly an agricultural area. I drove the car into a ditch next to a cottage. I think that I had some explaining to to, subsequently, probably to some law enforcement officer. Yet I did not want too much trouble because of my previous experience.
I can't remember anything else clearly.

Wednesday, 29 December 2010


I was walking on a wide road near a port. It was a street vertical to the coast. The dark was falling, yet the road was brightly lit by yellow lights. There were wires, from side to side, with yellow light bulbs hanging from them. I was on the right-hand-side pavement, as I was facing forward. At the side of the pavement, next to a tree that was surrounded by a heavy iron fencing, I saw a vividly colored pile of furniture. I went closer and saw that it was mostly children things: a mattress, some bags and other things. They were in rather good condition and I started taking some of them for myself. I found two identical pencil-cases that were wet and soiled with sand. It made me think of children spending their summer break by the shore. I moved on and saw another similar pile of objects. This time they were more neatly put, there was a table and some of them were hanging from the tree like Christmas decorations. I was looking at them and had started piling my loot in front of me when I was surrounded by a group of men. I thought they were annoying but not necessarily a peril. They did not seem aggressive at all, merely curious. An English-speaking tall boy with lightly colored hair and a shortly trimmed beard kept finding nice pop little bags at the higher branches and giving them to me. To the group of men was added a group of "hens". They made such a ruckus that made me want to leave, so I moved onwards. Along with me came a skinny nice girl. We went past something that looked like a pop corn booth and had fruit stalked on the wall behind it. At this point I should mention that there were no cars at this road, and that their absence made it look even more mysterious. The thin girl with straw-blond hair and sunken blue eyes stopped at this site. It was advertised by a big-breasted woman dressed up as a pin-up in yellow and red, with fluffy brown hair. It was run by a man that had a set of tinny medical scalpels. He would modify the skin with these and create figures that looked terribly mutated, but with a certain symmetry that made them look like naturally born monstrous entities. I could see him cutting the shoulder of a man and forming a flowery shape with the detached skin. The girl that was with me showed me isometrically bright red scarves on her arms. She looked like an abnormally neat suicide attempt.
I took a turn and walked in a dark-lit alley. It must have been a pedestrian's road because the luck of vehicles there did not strike me as something odd. I was with T., a friend of my sister. She would help me go higher up the city safely because we were at a very dodgy part of the city. I remember seeing two of the oddly mutated men whispering to each other and grinning. They were particularly large-built and they had fleshy spiral formations everywhere, at their legs and thighs and arms and neck. They looked so abnormal and I was sure that they had an equally mutated mind. We went through a bar, up some stairs and then we had to walk on a stone wall. It was wide enough and not very high but I felt my fear of heights taking over me. My phone rung and I tried to pick it up, I could not see who it was though. All I could read was "knitt-it-....". I thought evil about whoever tried to talk to me at that point. Also because the phones battery was dying and I wanted to call P. later. I picked it up but could hear nothing. Then I thought it must have been E., an annoying acquaintance of mine. I felt terribly dizzy and told T. to move on because I couldn't follow and that I would find my way on my own. The wall on which I was standing was making a curve in the bar. I spoke to a man that was having his drink bellow me that I had frozen from fear and that I could not get off! He pointed at me for the waiter to see. They moved aside and left an empty space for me to fall. I asked politely the waiter that was also very tall and wide to catch me when I fall. He did. I fell on his chest and he put me down. I went outside. People were really dodgy! I started walking towards another direction but came to a dead-end street. A group of approximately four women with long curly hair in obsolete hair-dos surrounded me with bad intents. I swallowed my tongue and walked away. There was a strangely disfigured girl on a wheel-chair. She went into a dodgy building. I was standing in front of what seemed to be a fortune-teller's booth, with a curved neon, multicolored sign and heavy black drapes on the door. Other people were there as well. The girl in the wheel-chair, that had looked rather small when I had first seen her, came rushing out, screaming. She came near us and got up. She was massive with a really wide formation of flesh around her head (at least where her eyes were). She was holding an official paper and was screaming in rage that "they don't help at all! It took years to get a certificate that after a very complex surgery that took eight hours they managed to form a functional body again! But do you call this functional? Have you seen lots of girls pooping from their foreheads and eating from where their anus used to be?" I observed then that only her arms and legs had their original place on her body. Every other part had been terribly misplace making her an indistinct mass of body tissue! Her colon seemed to have been placed on her forehead indeed and she made a dark brown turd as she mentioned it. Subsequently she held a large bowl with something white and mushy under her feet and started eating. I felt sympathy and disgust at the same time.
I saw more mutants telling their stories! There was a man that was saying how he had almost dyed when he jumped off the wall from where I had fallen earlier. I can't recall the details or his face clearly though.
I have the impression that P. was coming for me because I had vague visions of him being around and I felt safer.
The next thing I remember was sitting around a small round table, with people I don't know but felt keen on, and telling my dream about the mutants. I started from the pop-corn booth but then I remembered how it had all started and then I woke up.

Tuesday, 28 December 2010

Dumbledore, again- me in two bodies

I dreamt I was with Dumbledore in a group of people . He was homosexual and he was performing scientific experiments. In one of these he turned me into a man. I cannot remember what I looked like. He did not transform me back into a woman but, instead, he used some genetic material of mine he had taken in the past and re-created me as one. Thus I existed in two different bodies but I seemed to be using only one brain to think, so I never saw in my dream both types at the same time. We went to a beach. I think it was in an abandoned military camp. The opposite coast was quite close, in a distance that most people would swim without too much effort. Yet non of us showed any intention to get into the water. There were more people there.
Apart from the beach I also saw myself in a house, in a room with lots of others. There was a tall thin rock singer- the cocky, full of drugs kind of rock singer- that got interested in me. I had a cold attitude towards him until he lost his excitement and I gained some. Yet, since I had turned him down I did not dare to make any moves towards him. I just kept staring discreetly and wondering why this might be happening to me, not paying any attention to someone that fancies me until they stop, and then I want them desperately. My male self found a sweetheart as well. There was this girl that used to be a friend of mine some years ago. She is quite cute, tall and thin and despite the fact that my male version was much shorter than her, I decided to give it a try, and asked her if she would like us to spent some time on our own. I was standing a stair higher than her but she was still taller. She accepted this and invited me at her flat on the next day, around eleven o'clock pm or midnight. I don't really like getting out of my house so late and I felt reluctant to do it, but I said I would be there. I was quite nervous as it would be my first date with a woman. On the account that I had kept my original brain in my male body I started wondering if I was a lesbian. At the same time my girly self managed to arrange something more intimate with the rock singer. Things were getting confusing. I might have been able to be at two places simultaneously but I still had only brain to do the thinking for both bodies! I asked a random girl that was there, if she would mind listening to me for a little while and maybe tell me her opinion on a subject that concerned me. We went into the bedroom where people were leaving their coats. Other girls kept coming in, and since it might be good to listen to more individual opinions I decided to have a bigger audience. Some men infiltrated in the room but we kicked them out. The last one to stay inside was a tiny gnome, hiding under the bed. The last person I wanted to tell my problems to was a gossipy magical creature. I made him leave the room as well. I started telling my story about the two heterosexual bodies and the one female mind. I asked what to do with the chick since I had never thought as a lesbian before. A short and chubby woman with fluffy black hair and a black skirt that became very tight around her wide, round bottom as she sat, told me that she had been equally disappointed by men and women. I thought that I would have never guest that she was going both ways and that I was too much prudent after all.
I woke up.

Monday, 27 December 2010

Stake and kidney pie

I can't remember how this dream started but we 'll take it from the following point onwards. I had taken a bath and all the green colour of my fringe got washed away, leaving my partially blond. It was not that sickly light orange I had before the application of the green pigment but a nice vibrant, almost white yellow. I didn't like it anyway and wondered if I would have to wait for my hair to become dirty again before I tried to change the colour. Next thing I remember is being in a butchery. I was looking at the butcher, who was my brother, in his white, blood-stained robe. He had thin, blond, shoulder length hair and a warm, friendly grin on his face. He was a head taller than me, well built and with wide shoulders. He hugged me. I had mixed feelings about him, I liked and respected him as a brother but I was also slightly intimidated as if I did not know much about him and the mystery that surrounded him made me feel uncomfortable. He was religious and, in addition to that, he also had holly powers. I was holding a plastic bag with small balls of dough and I asked if I should have sanctified them or if he would like to do it. He said he had crossed and thus sanctified "this" and pointed towards a plastic bag full of pieces of meat. From their textures and colour I understood that some were kidneys. I assumed I would have to cook stake and kidney pie.
I walked back home were I met my old friend G. (I haven't seen this person for so long I am no longer sure we are still friends). We were flatmates. From the discussion I deducted that we were leaving on the next day. I fell off the clouds because I had not realized it would be this soon. Apparently he had made all the arrangements with the movers and he had booked our tickets and I had not made a note of the date of departure. I also had to cook and a million other things for the flat and I had not got cardboard boxes so as to pack my things! I asked if had any spare ones. The answer was negative. I started by packing my shoes. They were less than I expected them to be. While I was doing this I found a few more boxes I had stored in the bigger box I had used for my shoes.
Yet, I did not know if I wanted to leave. I seemed to have adjusted rather well after all this time. I did not feel as I did when the decision had been taken. I kept packing shoes until the dog started barking.
I got up, put on my sleepers, asked her to shut up and slowly proceeded to the kitchen to make the essential morning warm beverage that helps turn a zombie into a functional human being. Loo, toothbrush, green fringe still there. "Morning Captain".

Sunday, 26 December 2010

Schools and other academic fascilities

I dreamt I was going somewhere with P.. We decided to take a short-cut through a school. The first building had an arcade from the sides of which children and teachers were led to their classes, upstairs. It was a very crowded space that resembled slightly to a mega-store. After this there was was another school, for younger children, that did not have a passage so we walked around it and as we continued walking straight after the last turn we took round the school, we passed by the pavement next to a children playground. It was filled with kids and teachers. As we were walking there our course was interrupted by a set of swings. Children were sitting everywhere and there were a couple of teachers sitting on a bench and chatting with some older women. The children were doing some kind of exercise on synchronization, so we had to wait for every duo to finish swinging so as to move slowly forward. When we managed to escape this we rushed down a crowded pedestrian road. We listened behind us one of the teachers telling another that we were trespassers of their school grounds and that she should come after us because we had to be punished. The younger teacher seemed reluctant to do such a thing but the other woman convinced her by saying that no adult had the right to be on school grounds and that she new our lot. She said we were the spoiled mayors of a nearby posh district. We heard the young woman screaming behind us and she finally reached us. She asked us to stop, yet she didn't appear to be really confident on what she was doing. We tried to explain that there was no indication that this had been the school premises, that there was also no barriers of any sort to prevent people from approaching and that anyway we were on the pavement. She sat down and took a packet of cigarettes out of her pocket and offered us a couple, taking one her self and asking for a lighter. She informed us that she had no intention of getting us punished and that, further-on, the woman that had instructed her to do so was not a very fair teacher to begin with. The children were not supposed to be on the swings when we had passed through them but it was only her laziness that had caused a delay and thus provoked the whole incident. We returned to the school to defend ourselves in front of teachers and parents. We waited there for a little while and then we went into a prolonged room with desks on either side behind which people were standing. The woman that had initiated the whole deal was sitting on a chair. I approached her so as to speak and she responded with vulgar words. I looked at the crowd around me and asked them to witness her bad behaviour. I advanced towards her again and she pushed me back. She was wearing a red cardigan with a v neck-cut. I asked the crowed if they had seen how badly she was treating me and they cheered. The case was closed. She was the bad one and I was innocent. People started leaving the room. I went near a grey-haired and spectacled parent and told him that the case was not closed because there should have been a sign or a barrier to prevent people from going through the school premises. He gave me a look that suggested that I should not be mentioning this issue any more and said something that showed that he believed we were wrong and pushing our luck in a way.
Later I saw that I was in an academic institution on my own. Soon, a lot of people from my MA course filled the place. My x-bf was there. It was a seminar on digital arts and photography. I had a lot of inquiries but the time passed without me noticing and we had to leave. I wanted a couple of books from the library but I had borrowed a wrong one. My x-bf invited me somewhere for the weekend and I said I would go only if he could help me in advanced photoshop. He said he didn't really know. I saw a lot of people smoking, and S., a guy a friend of mine fancied a lot- he was very nervous too for not having managed to do much there- and classes on the first floor and a big school-yard.
Then I remember talking about an issue on contemporary aesthetics with my father. He looked younger and he was wearing a 60's pair of trousers with bell legs. It was made of an orange and black tweed fabric with art-deco small squares. I kept looking at it because the textile was awesome, unlike the design of the trousers that were actually short. He was telling me that he had encountered an argument that concerned my practice, as well, and that when he had indicated this to his father, he, in his turn, had announced the importance of the subject, yet without providing with a solution. My father had outstretched his arms, with his palms facing upwards and was wondering "how" passionately, while I kept staring at the small checks on his vibrantly coloured trousers.

Saturday, 25 December 2010

A. was pregnant

I left a place where I was supposed to be (it was something like a school or camp) and I was walking down a busy road. I could see a crowd moving but I was some steps behind. It started to rain a lot suddenly and I tried to get mixed with the crowd and hide under somebody else's umbrella. Then I met A. a friend of my friend D. whom I am very fond of. She had a big transparent umbrella and she invited me under it politely. I approached and we walked together. She was going to a pub to meet D. and I went along. We were sitting next to the cosy bar and they were talking about an unconfirmed situation, considering her relationship, that problematized A.. Later I saw that I had left this place and I was walking towards a shore. A. came running to me and told me that I should congratulate her. She told me she was pregnant and that she had talked to the baby's father that lived abroad and that he would come to stay with her and raise their child together. I felt honestly happy for her and I started wondering why I have never wanted a child of my own, if I was loosing the opportunity to have one and so on and so on. We were walking next to a stone built wall with some strange iron circular small inscriptions. I wondered what they were about but could not figure it out. When we approached the shore A. told me she had to live and I stayed there on my own. The landscape was peculiar. It looked like a natural shallow pool with small formations of brown stone in the color of sand and with similar texture. Lot's of people were lying on towels and gave an old-school sensation with their tanned bodies, sun-bleached hair and out-fashioned bathing suits. It looked like an advertisement from the seventies for some trendy Greek island. I stepped into the water but did not like it one bit. It was lukewarm and unnatural. I walked away and some time later I was stopped by another friend of D.'s, S..I am quite fond of this guy too. He told me he had a secret he wanted to show me. We hid behind a straw fence and he wrote some letters on a paper. It seemed that he had figured out a way of writing the formed big and thick letters with as little effort as possible. His letters seemed like Gothic and they had small lines to fill in their width but he seemed to be doing a single line. They were mostly capitals and made with straight lines, like the letters "L", "I","T", "K" etc. He showed me some wooden boxes that had similar letters to his stamped on them and said he figured out their owner's secret and that thus, we could escape. We seemed to have been enslaved but the owner of the boxes. He was the father of a rich girl I used to know in primary school and junior high-school, F.. She was vulgar, blond, very popular with the boys because she was slutty like a teenage tv-star and gave me a rather hard time, as I was the complete opposite: brunette, chubby (not so much, she was slightly thinner than me and we both had big breasts for our age but I had always had a complex with my weight that was enforced because until the third grade I had to wear shoes for flat-feet and could not run easily or as fast as the other children. I was also very poor and my clothes were old, handmade and in odd sizes), yet a very good student, serious-looking and intimidating towards the boys. Anyway, it was good that S. had found the solution and we agreed to meet again soon so that he could explain things to me.
The next thing I remember is being inside a double-decked train. People were staring at me in a hostile manner. When we were near my home town I got up and started going down the stairs. I held tight a brown fluffy bag I had with me. A woman told me that the train did not make a stop there and I responded that she was wrong. She insisted that there was not a stop where I wanted to get off but I ignored her. As I was going down the stairs I thought that the bag I had with me was not my regular one, nor did it have inside all the things I usually carry with me. I wished I had left it at home and that I had not forgotten to take it from my train-seat. That would be disastrous. I did not really want to be there but since I had gotten into the train for some reason I could not recall, I decided to visit my mom. I was about to cross a very wide road when I saw a car passing slowly. In the driver's seat was a friend of mine, S., I haven't seen for ages. I waved at him and meant to ask what on Earth he was doing there, as he lives at the other side of the country. He did not stop though, he just gave me a wide smile as his car was passing extremely slowly in front of me.

Friday, 24 December 2010

A trial, a palace, a museum and pool

I dreamt of lots of things last night.
I saw that I looked at the floor in front of our apartment's main door and there were a lot of official paper's lying there. I opened the door and saw the woman that takes care of the issues concerning the building and an older man with the appearance of a a bureaucrat going up the stairs. I asked what all this was about and she told me that they had to take legal action towards the people that were in debt. I replied that this was very unfair because we owed them only a month's amount and that this was just because we were not in at the collection day, so I intended to give it to her within the next week along the new one. She said she agreed with me but the problem had become so enlarged that they had to do something drastic instantly. The bureaucrat that had a very severe expression on his face until that moment gave me a sympathetic look and told me not to worry so much, as tears were already rolling down my face, and he would try to help me sort it out and not get mixed up to more complex legal procedures.
Later I was in a group of people (it was something like a class). It seemed that they had taken for a field trip to some specific town with a palace and a museum and various other important buildings. We went past the monarch's residency and took a sneak pick inside the central hall. The building was huge! It was a square piece of architecture, not more than two or three stories high, covered with elaborate mosaic in black, off-white and mauve. I could see an endless corridor spreading through arched doors and staircases on either side. We said "aaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!" in admiration but were pushed forward soon. We reached our destination, a museum of all the cultural aspects of that place an started deforming as a group and looking at the exhibits. There were jewelry and mannequins with military uniforms. At some point we saw a big bench with cardboard boxes full of partially broken jewelry and dirty metallic brooches and an inscription that informed us that they were on sale, as they used to belong to the museum's collection but they had lost their value. I started searching frantically! I found glass rings that fitted just right and looked strangely and beautifully tectonic but I thought it was a bit dangerous to wear fractured glass. Then I found some metallic brooches. They had women and animals and televisions and two sewing machines that I absolutely adored. I was trying to chose when the entrance to the next room got blocked by armored security guards that asked us to finish our tour as soon as possible and leave the building. I picked a big packet with a dozen of brooches and one in the shape of a "singer"sewing machine and started moving down the stairs. I was with two acquaintances of mine, a girl and a boy. We were waiting in line to pass from the cashier and pay for our goods when a couple of employees got confused on who should do the sale for a particular object (I think it was a book). The guards were pushing us out and the employees were yelling.
Later I saw I walked into a billiards shop. I am really bad at this and I was hoping that the place would be empty apart form the traditional forty-year-old bar-woman. It was a wide room with a low ceiling and no lights apart from the lamps that hung above each pool table. In the furthest corner tables were two girls, each on a table on her own, in large blue t-shirts, dark brown pony-tails and luminous white gloves, the kind that is used for pool. They looked very professional and equally stupid like any human that has dedicated his or her life in sports. I approached them to ask for a couple of tips to improve my skills. They got very annoyed and hit me on the stomach. Then one of them tried to break my arm but I suddenly became very strong and skilled in fighting and bit the shit out of her, with a Hollywood-ish pretentious style.
Enough information for one night! When I got out of bed I was very proud of having "designed"(imagined) the buildings and objects of the second dream. I wish that I could do that again, soon.

Sunday, 19 December 2010

Fresh Boys

I was at the flat of my friends K. and D. and I was talking with K. (I was actually thinking of her all day long yesterday). She had to go and I was on my own. I can't remember every detail of what took place but I do remember standing next to a bench amongst overgrown plants. I met there a tall thin blond guy. We instantly expressed an interest on each-other and started playing. The time passed and we had to separate but we said that we would probably meet again soon and that this would be nice.
I dreamt a lot last night and my dreams mingled by the time I got out of bed.
I also got acquainted with another guy, shorter and with dark hair with whom I also got close.
I had a rendezvous with my sister. We were going to see our father and subsequently we would go to her house. We met him and he asked us if we were smoking drugs. I gave him a rather severe fake stare and asked him if he did not think we were rather old to have such a conversation. Then I accused him of having potheads for friends. My sister found the whole scene hilarious. We moved on. I must have fallen by accident in water and I was completely naked as my clothes were soaking wet. I didn't mind it at first. The nearest place where I could dry myself and get in a new outfit (it seems that I thought it was improper to get dressed in front of everyone while I preferred to walk around naked) was my uncle's restaurant. It was a narrow shop with a single row of tables on either side of an aisle. I was walking towards the toilet that was at the far end when I noticed that the blondy was there with his brother and father. I was covering my breasts with my arms quite adequately but it just shown on me that my vagina and arse were completely unprotected in common view. I gave him a side stare and hurried to reach my destination. I had to go through a door. On my left was the loo door and directly in front of me was the entrance to the kitchen. Staff was going in and out of this door and I felt ashamed for my nudity. I was in there getting dry and dressed. The boy came in and started making a scene. I got angry and told him off. He regretted for having scolded me but I thought that this was an indication of an overall violent behaviour and that I would not put up with it. He was rather handsome though and his hair and skin felt great and I thought that I could spend some time with him if I found a way to cope with his outbursts of anger.
I can't remember much about the other guy but the situation in which I met him was similar. At some other dream, though, I was talking about my new dream acquaintances to my friend D.. She was asking me if I feel bad for dreaming of other men while being with P.. I was trying to explain that I did a little but that it has been more than a year that I am with him and that I might have missed the feeling of "fresh flesh", that feeling you get on your fingers when you touch somebody for the first time, before you get used to the texture of the skin and the body's temperature.
As usual, after a while, I was dreaming and waking up every, approximately, half an hour but right now I can't extract anything more.

Saturday, 18 December 2010

alcohol induced weirdness

I was going to give an interview for the MA course of the school of Fine Arts in Athens. I walked into a room with a big oval table. Some people I didn't know were already sitting there. I was not personally acquainted with any of them but I could guess by their description who each one was. Soon all the seats were taken and we started introducing ourselves. People were telling their names in random order and rather loudly, a situation I found terribly off-putting and hesitated to say mine. I did get a chance to introduce myself at some point and when I did people I had never seen before started laughing and a girl with black posh clothes and black straightened hair made a rude and uninteresting comment. I said "imbecile" between my teeth. A professor with a black leatherette old-fashioned jacket and a black perm gave me a severe look and told me that it was clear I did not fit there and that I should leave. I should mention that around the table were the previously mentioned girl and man, a girl and a boy that were fellow students of mine during my first studies, of whom I am not that fond, a woman that teaches history of art and belongs to a school of thought I find narrow-minded and obsolete and, in the position of my previous teacher, Dumbledore. When I got rejected I felt annoyed, partly because I hadn't been given a chance- they had not asked me anything, I was obviously criticized for my appearance only (I was wearing a handmade cardigan with thin multicolored stripes I made when I was 12 or something)- and partly because it reminded me of another interview I had gone through with the same result. I got up and became very aggressive. I told them exactly what I had in my mind for each of them in a vulgar vocabulary. I told them they are the enemy and that I don't really need them anyway since I already have a Master of the Arts title! The guy that had rejected me went into the other room and I was screaming about his incompetence as a teacher and an artist. I told him that he had obviously been given this position after bribing and making sexual favours since as an artist he was utterly meaningless. I also accused them of populism and prejudice. I left the room after thanking Dumbledore for being there and kissing him on both cheeks, a gesture that made him feel obviously uncomfortable. I went outside and kept on yelling curses and criticism. I went into another studio where I met people I knew and told them what had happened. I was so angry that, occasionally I raised my voice enough so as to be heard from the next room. This attitude made people turn their faces from me. I felt further uncomfortable about that but I had decided to make a huge fuss and speak out every truth people would only dare whisper. I thought that someone should say all these things aloud and since I had nothing to loose I might as well be the one! I went through some strange corridors and doors that made you go round in circles and got outside again. Next door I met a friend of mine that is a wood technician. I was happy to see him and started talking about my recent experience again. He did not mind my loud voice and seemed to be on my side but he warned me that if I keep this up they might send someone to kick me out of the building. I said I was leaving anyway. I returned to my house and I met my sister. She told me my mom was upstairs and I started climbing up the wall pretending to be spiderman. I took my sister on my back and started climbing with her. I was amazed that I could do that! I also noticed I had a humongous hanging penis that made me feel terribly awkward and thought that something was very wrong with that image, so I went through the whole scene again trying to avoid the penis.. I went up the wall that was silver with holes as if it had an emendal cheese pattern.
I woke up. I burnt my arm some days ago and my blister was very itchy. I tried to find a better position for it and went back to sleep, sure that I needed more sleep to avoid a heavy hang-over head-ache.

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Exhibition re-assessed

I dreamt I was attending a seminar during which I would see a lot of screenings. I might have been participating myself with a couple of works. I was in an amphitheatre trying to get a descent seat. I sat next to a girl that looked nice and young. We were going through exams. She arrogantly informed me that it was the first time she had got accepted in an academic institution without paying her way in. I gave her my most displeased look and started telling her off. I informed her that she shouldn't be so proud as she belonged to a minority that bought people's consciousness. I added that she should be ashamed of herself and never mention this subject, that openly, in front of people because she might hurt or insult someone. I left frustrated but soon I thought that she didn't seem like a bad girl, just young and naive, so I went back to apologize. She was gone, though. I went around to socialize for a little. I found a couple of friends of mine and was casually chatting with them when I saw a man I knew eight years ago.( We were studying drawing together. His gestures had been very violent, he would crash the charcoal on the paper, and his drawings had very intense contrasts. Everyone considered him to be very aggressive and somehow mentally unstable. I had always been nice to him, I liked talking to him occasionally. I stopped being so open towards him when he started being insulting. He even stepped on both of my feet once. I never understood why. Some years later a common friend informed me that he had made it to the school of Fine Arts and that while he was there he was much calmer and almost pleasant to people). In my dream he was considerably shorter that he actually is -he is rather tall, approximately 1, 90 m and very thin- whilst the person I saw was of average built. His hair was long, black and curly and his forehead was too wide. He also had a beard with the same qualities. It was nice to see him after all this time. We greeted each other warmly.
At some other point I was walking down the aisle and I met E., my course-leader from when I was studying at W.. She told me that my installation had problematic issues that I should revise and that we should have a chat. I got worried because the work I was presenting there was not the work on which I wished to be assessed. It was made for the exhibition while I had already presented my official work for them to see and judge. I tried to explain this but my words didn't make it through. I went to see what she was talking about as I had forgotten what exactly I had done. I saw that I had set-up the dolls among furniture, some of which were in children size, and I liked the end-result. What was she talking about, removing my artistic freedom?
Then I remember looking around for other people I might know and the girl I had insulted so as to apologize, but I remember nothing more specific.

Friday, 10 December 2010

parade of bullies

I saw that I was teaching something, after the ordinary hours during which a school functions, to a small group of people. I was working at the building that used to be my high-school. I can't remember who my students were, but they were male and with strange political or religious beliefs, so, for my own safety, I had to be very typical and cautious. I remember talking to someone, I can't remember if it was a student or a superior, that made me feel uncomfortable by bringing up a subject on which I did not feel that I should express my opinion. I took my bag that was very big and filled with things. I remember putting on a couple of red socks and an off-white blouse. I also had with me an object that would change forms. It might have been my female dog. On this occasion she had transformed into a beautiful young guy that seemed to like me. I was wondering if I could do anything with him and then I thought that the creature was actually female. I started wondering about homosexuality.
Maybe, at some other point in the dream, while I was at the school, or in some other dream sequence, I was in the office of a psychologist, yet not as a patient but as a visitor. I was siting on a chair by his office instead of the traditional couch that was anyway occupied. I tried to make him tell me his opinion on a couple of things so as to engage into conversation. While I was there I was holding tight the previously mentioned very large bag.
I left the school and walked further down the road. I had my shape-shifting animal with me. I had to change my socks. I had a spare couple in my abnormally over-stuffed bag. They were red, like these I had on but instead of flowers they had a strawberry patern on them and they were much more comfortable. I was thinking of my object of desire, who seemed to be different this time from the animal. I also had a thought or a mental image that associated my socks to my armpits. I was leaning against a road sign opposite a derelict cafeteria. The district was dirty and dodgy. An old-school car turned around the corner and went past me with the person's by the driver eyes fixed on me. By the time I got to find the clean socks and wear them, the car had made a circle around the square and returned. I was sure they wanted to shoot me but instead they lowered the window and asked for directions. I didn't know the answer but I heard the driver say that they would spare me. I hurried to get away for the case they would change their mind. I took a few steps down the road when I saw a large group of people, gathered like they were waiting for a parade. This was disconcerting. I asked a guy in a dark blue pullover what was going on. I chose him because he was chatting with other people that appeared to disapprove of what was happening. For a minute there I thought I had done something something stupid because he might have been a policeman, yet when I saw his face I was sure he was a left-wing working class all right guy. He told me that "they" were parading and celebrating and that it was a weird era that we were entering. He advised me to be very cautious if I wanted to cross that street to go home. I had to. It was the widest and longest street of the town and my home was on the other side. I decided to take another route and cross from further down. I walked towards the opposite direction but at the end of the building block there were more dodgy looking people ready for fight. The crowd was not so thick there so I could pass if I moved fast. I did not like where I was one bit and I decided to get into a small alley.
Parenthesis: I am in this neibourhood often in my dreams. It is in my hometown and it is near the house of my godmother, another very good friend of my mother and my aunt N.. They don't really live that close to each other but when I was a child I found their streets very intriguing because they looked nothing like ours (or so I thought back then) and there was the fear of getting lost as I have a quite inadequate sense of orientation and I did not now the area well enough.
The alley was a dead end. It led to a door of one of these houses where each room has a door towards a central yard with a well. I knocked on the door, so as to at least get some shelter and maybe call someone to pick me up. A very weird-looking woman opened the door. She was very thin and sower with a face that seemed prematurely old. Her back was somehow crooked and she was wearing a colourful apron and her hair were inside a colourful shawl. I did not trust her. Behind her I could see the woodwork on the house and thick plantation. Beside her was a small child almost hiding behind her robe. She had socks and summer slippers on and despite the condition of her back and her legs she seemed fast. I decided to take my chances and ask for shelter and try to get to the phone a.s.a.p.. I even asked if this was just a yard or if it was connected with other houses that I could pass through.
I can't remember how but I escaped that place and run from the fastest route towards my house. I thought I was really far but I was quite close to the central square. I passed unnoticed between the crowed of bullies and as soon as I got to the coffee-shops behind them I started running over banisters, grass, between chairs and people. I could hear some of them making comments about my behaviour but I was scared shitless and kept running until I got to the train station and down the stairs and closer to home.

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

puppy poo

I remember waking up at least three times during my sleep after having seen a dream.
From the first time I recall being in someone's bed. I was covered with a soft, thin and warm duvet. I was not really supposed to be there, I was probably hiding. I also had the impression that it would be fine to take the duvet and some sheets and maybe the curtains too when I would leave; they belonged to me somehow. I didn't like their pattern though. It had an out-fashioned printed colourful design, kitch but not in the happy-go-lucky manner. I tried hard to think of what had preceded this scene but I haven't been able yet.
Then I dreamt that my puppy had pooped on the balcony and that she had stepped on her faeces, spreading them all over the floor as she was walking around.
Later I saw a piece of the corner between wall and ceiling. There was a mirror near by and the paint had peeled off due to mildew. I also remember hearing the sound of a video game.
Although I have the impression that my dreams were complicated and with lots of incidents happening I can't remember anything else.

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

marble tap

I woke up with a little hang-over and a small ugly feeling because of some bad news I heard about a girl I hardly know, but have heard plenty of. I think I was dreaming of somebody's transformation. I remember something green, possibly a sweater. Also a body getting gradually shorter and thinner around the waist. The last fragment of the dream and the one I can recall most clearly was running water, an emptying marble tap.

Monday, 6 December 2010

Filming and shit

I dreamt I had been invited to the shooting of a film. I had made a special object for them and even though I would not participate further somebody had told me I could actually watch the whole process of the making off from back-stage. I was expecting to meet lots of acquaintances of mine there. I arrived before anyone I knew. It was taking place in a bar that was like a basement. The set was on the front half of the room and in the middle were the equipment and chairs for the people to leave their things and sit when they where not participating. I sat down and was offered food. I don't know if the following was in the same dream sequence: I was sitting on a table with M. and I., two friends of p.. I ordered sushi while they got just drinks. When the bill came it was a huge amount of money. They said that M. should pay the most because she had been there first and consequently she had consumed the most. I hesitated for a little while because I could not really afford it and then I came clean and told them that it was possibly my food that had such a high cost. We checked the receipt and indeed, my plate cost 30 euros. I realized it must have been a mistake because I had had this plate before and I had payed less than ten euros. I can't remember how but this issue got sorted out.
More folk had arrived at the scene and we had to take our places and be quiet. The fat, short and ugly director (it was probably a constructed allusion to S., a sleazy friend's friend, for whom I made an object) sat next to me and the filming began. We had not been introduced despite the fact that I had made something for his film. I did not want to mention this, though. I was not very fond of him but I felt like showing off so I made a comment about his film-work, I told him that after all he was doing very repetitive stuff and that I could outline his obsessions. He was very arrogant and denied the truth of this fact. He almost sent me away, whispering the whole time so as not to be heard from others. I asked him if he would like me to explain and said that most artists use their obsessions and that it is a positive thing to re-examine some concepts through practice, so as to distill and merge ideas and that this is the way to making a masterpiece and that Jim Jarmush's "the limits of control" was a masterpiece but you can trace in it bits and pieces of ideas on which he has worked on previous films. He tried to avoid me a few times but by the end we seemed to start getting along.
I went to the loo ( I don't know if I was still in the same bar as I kept visiting such places all night long -I kept waking up and going back to sleep and I was always in a bar or a restaurant, and the memories now have mingled in my mind-). As it is typical in my dreams, in the loo sequences, I could not stay alone to do my job. I went into the crowded toilet. It also appeared to be the men's room. I even opened one of the private doors and got in. It was a long distance between the door and the toilet sit. A guy was taking a wee. I just kept my calm, turned my back on him but stayed in the cubicle and asked him not to mind me and take his time. He looked a lot like a guy I had snogged two years ago, a large built ginger one. The one in my dream finished and went outside. I had the cubicle to myself to take a nice wee. As I leaned backwards, careful not to touch anything with any part of my body, I noticed that the previously solid door was semi-transparent now. Apparently I could not be seen clearly but only as a vague figure. Nonetheless anyone could figure out the posture I had taken. It is a funny posture the one women take so as to pee without touching anything, not exactly standing and not exactly sitting down Being a short girl amkes things even more difficult. Furthermore, as I mentioned earlier I was probably in the men's room. I could see a figure outside my door, possibly observing me as I was observing him. -gap-
I was in that place with the many bars and taverns -maybe in another dream- and we were near a beach. I was going in and out of shops and at some point I was among another film crew in the entrance of an older building. I went out last and closed the heavy wooden door behind me. I was walking around when I met a few of these people that greeted me. I approached them just to be polite as I was not particularly fond of them. They gave the impression of uneducated arty fakes. They were on a bench by the beach and in the middle of a grassy square. One of them was tall with fluffy gray hair and a bamterlele (^_____^). He started telling me how much their superior appreciates my opinion and that he is thinking of offering me a job. I could sense hostility and envy in the tone of his voice, so I thought of rubbing my credentials in his face and I mentioned, in a lighthearted way my academic status. He was taken a bit aback. They seemed to think that I was not highly educated because I did not use their pretentious vocabulary and did not look vaguely at the yonder when I spoke. I escaped their company and got into a take away store. I knew they had a window in the lavatory from where I could leave without being seen. I went past the crowd and ordered spinach pie from the counter. I was not hungry. While it was being prepared, though, I went to check on my escape exit. The window was there all right, but somebody had build a fence with barbed-wire within ten centimetres from the wall. Even if I managed to get out there was nowhere to go! All I could see was the fence going all the way in the dark and empty fields covered with darkness. I forgot to mention that at the beginning of the dream it was daytime and that by the time these things were taking place it was dark outside. I returned, took my pie and tried to find another way away from all these people. I remember a road sign in the dark.
Woke up, went back to sleep.
I did not dream anything more specific, I think. I just remember thinking of making flower brooches of fabric.

Sunday, 5 December 2010

up-heavals, corridors, buildings, the usual..

The dream I remember from last night was very complicated and I only remember bits and pieces that I can't really put in any time-line or order. The first thing I remember is that as I was getting out of the room where I was sleeping with my boyfriend, I crossed paths with my previous one. He was wearing a jacket that was mine two years ago. It had not been mine in the dream, but it was equally outdated as a known piece of clothing. I told him I was about to call him so as to meet. He had gone shopping and had just returned home with small shopping bags of bookstores, or music shops. He tried to kiss me but I refused. I was amazed by my determination not to cheat. I can't remember what happened next but I remember also seeing his mother and walking, later at some point, into his room. I found him lying on the couch by the window and tried to make casual chat. I think that the subject might have been about me having to leave for abroad.
I also remember talking with my sister about something perilous, but nothing more, even though I have the impression I was talking to her for some time.
The next thing I remember clearly was getting out of the room into a corridor. I might have been in one of those multifunctional buildings that house shops and facilities of the sort apart from apartments. There were two unknown women chatting outside their doors. It was late- it was dark outside- and they told me about some upheaval that had taken place and that the streets were dodgy- a woman had been robbed of all her money just a few hours ago. They had ordinarily long black hair and they were casually dresses and around their late twenties or early thirties. They told me to think again before attempting to go out on my own at this time. Thus I returned to the room where from I had just come out. I think P. was there but it could have been my sister as well. I repeated what I had just heard and made the assumption that if people were after the money in my bag and did not tend to harm people physically I would be safe if I was not carrying any.
Dreams don't start or conclude in any specific manner. On the contrary, most of the times the story stops abruptly. People wake up and they never know what happened after all.